Love can be such a marvelous experience; especially when it’s mutually received without any ulterior motives or deception.
Unfortunately, we women become gullible to the sounds of sweet nothings in our ears. We tend to ignore the powers of our intuitions; the senses God blessed us with and our mothers before us. All for the misconceived notion of what we believe love is… or hope it to be.
The Urban Dictionary defines a fuckboy as such:
Boys like this will pretend to genuinely care about the girl but always fail to prove the supposed affection… (you can check out the more detailed definition in the link above).
I’ve decided to make a list of fuckboy warning signs in the hopes of possibly saving, if not all, at least one heart from being broken by the absolute holy scumbags of the EARTH (extreme exaggeration)
(Disclaimer: THESE MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE AND REAL LIFE OCCURRENCES. #KungFuKenny #DontJudgeMe)
Auntie Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” This couldn’t be more true for when you run into that fuckboy that just is not right. So let’s jump into this list!
(Oh wow, thank you for the enthusiasm Momma O!)
1. If a man ever says to you, “There are a few girls that would marry me tomorrow if I asked them” This is not a reflection of him being a sweet guy. BRUH IS A FUCKBOY! Just think about it, (even though you probably let it slide) because at this moment he is finessing at least three other women into believing they are the one for him. There should never be more than one woman at one time ready to hit the courthouse with the man you are currently dating. Dude is playing you homie. GET OUT ASAP! You should never have to compete for a man’s love. It ain’t real!
2. As women, we mostly are understanding and compassionate beings. BUT IF YOU DONE HIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER UP 3 DAYS IN A ROW TO NO AVAIL, and on day 4 he hits you with the, “Hey boo, what’s up? Sorry, I been busy” He lyin’! Ain’t that much damn busy in the world when you can’t shoot someone you care about a simple, “I’m gonna hit you later, I’m busy” text, just to help ease their mind. The fact of the matter is he doesn’t care about you enough, my friend. He’s hitting you up at his own convenience. There’s no mutual respect; fuckboy.
3. Meeting mothers is a huge deal to men. They don’t just bring any old BOP home to momma-unless they are everlasting fuckboys. Granted, he might like you enough to bring you around but if he has the nerve to say some ol’ slick shit like, “Girls love it when dudes introduce them to moms.” It’s a pawn, he’s playing you. Shit his momma is in on it too! Get away ASAP Rocky!
Sidenote: Isn’t it crazy how when our girlfriends are in jacked up relationships, we see it for all it is. We give the greatest advice and get so upset when they don’t take it. But as soon as we get into an unhealthy situation, we completely forget our common sense! Or we see the problem super clear but can’t break away from the bad habit. That’s what they are, bad habits. (not all) Men are jerks!
I digress. *Carry on*
4. Reaching for dreams is a beautiful thing. Having people around who support those dreams and are always pushing for you to succeed bears no greater feeling. Aspirations and motivation are very attractive in a significant other. But my guy, if that fuckboy ever makes you feel like your goals are insignificant, inferior, or unimportant to his own, lil buddy does not believe in you. He’s a mark and no one you want on your team tryna make “love” to you. BELEE DAT!
5. You guys are out to dinner. The bill comes out. He passes it to you and announces, “you got it babe,” in front of the server, causing a mini scene between the three of you. Slightly embarrassed, you take it without thinking. Now, picking up the bill every now and then is perfectly fine, it’s the fuckboy image being portrayed that’s the problem. Why would a guy who struggles, act like the man? Faking it ’til you make it is never something you should have to do with a lover. Point. Blank. Period.
6. If you guys are still “talking,” and it’s been about 6 months. Bruh playin’ with ya emotions. Do like Elsa and LET IT GO!
7. You caught this foo doing something sneaky. Found out homegirl you thought was just a friend was really another bae. This is the same female you were continuously told not to worry about. Come to find out they’re doing exactly what you suspected. What your gut told you was happening when you were made out to feel like you were crazy; fuckboy shit.
8. Last but not least, you put your energy into a man. He knows full and well you opened your heart to him. He might very well have feelings for you as well. But if he recognized the love (GREAT LOVE!) you give him, and he is still able and capable of breaking your heart; not letting you go free to find someone who treats you right for his selfish benefit… you already know what it is boo.
You are worthy of an undying and limitless love. I know your friends see your tears and are adamant and insistent that you deserve better. I also know how it feels believing you deserve better as well, but feeling connected to someone who is incapable of love. I’m here to tell you, there is a man for you. Hell, maybe a few! (currently researching Polyamorous Relationships) But you don’t have to continue fighting for a love that won’t fight for you back.
I am by no means suggesting you leave your current situation. There is nothing that says a man can’t wake up one morning and want to do completely right by you. I just want you to know, you deserve happiness, you will receive it! Fuck that fuckboy! I pray for your positive energy, strength, and peace of mind. I want you to receive all of the good vibes and great Love!
Keep hope alive!
PS: How do you feel ladies? Was there something I missed? Something you don’t quite agree with? I want to open the door for discussion! Let’s all figure out how to block these fuckboys out of our lives for good!